Keeping dad's advice

Father to his son: I have been telling you to study your lessons every day so you won't be cramming when the examinations come.

The boy did not say anything.

The following day after the tests, the father asked: How's your tests?

Son: I will know the results tomorrow.

Father: If you flunk your tests, forget that you have a father.

The following day, the father asked: How's your tests?

Son: Who you?

The parrot and the lady

A parrot on a perch outside a house has a nasty habit of making sarcastic comments for passers by. One of these passers by is a lady who goes to office every morning and back in the afternoon. Each time the lady passes by, the parrot would say: "Hey lady, you're very ugly."

One day the exasperated lady went to the owner and told him: "If that parrot keeps on calling me ugly, I will kill it.

When the lady left, the owner went to the parrot and told the bird, "You heard what the lady said?" The parrot nodded.

When the lady passed by the following morning, the parrot called to her. "Hey lady."

"Okay, what?" said the lady.

The parrot replied: "You know."