3D Animation

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Qutable quotes


Adopted from Mel Amarillo's blog BlagMell


Why do most young people look down on the old as if all seniors smell like earth?

True all seniors are getting closer to their pre-departure areas. At any given time they will wear no perfume but formaldehyde.

I assure you I did not dream of becoming old. It just occurred.

You will be a lot luckier if it does not happen to you.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Italian grandparents

The wise grandmother

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301.

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3.

When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"




The wise grandfather

Why Italian fathers and grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘times up’? “

-Author Unknown-

*Posted for laughs with no intention to offend anyone. This is lifted from the blog of Masterwordsmith.

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Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hilariously brilliant

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.


If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?


Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!


Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.


We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

And in closing..........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother is not Mop.???

-Author Unknown-

Adopted from the blog of Masterwordsmith

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Funny signs

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below ...

In a Birmingham department store: Bargain basement upstairs.

In a Norwich office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back, or further steps will be taken.

In an Swindon office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

Outside a Chester secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. why not bring Your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Notice in Cambridge health food shop window: Closed due to illness.

In a Leicester laundromat: Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

Seen during a Blackpool conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a field in Wiltshire: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Message on a leaflet in reading: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

On a repair shop door in Newcastle-on-Tyne: We can repair anything. (please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.

Adopted from the blog of Masterwordshmith. You can google her site.

Please also visit my other blog sites Salt of Life
at http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com, Viajero
at http://www.viajero-funtravel.blogspot.com and Miscellaneous
at http://www.miscellaneous-oddnews.blogspot.com.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The difference between supper and dinner

Father and son were trying to make fun of mother while she was dressing up.

The family has decided to take supper outdoor.

Son to father: "Dad, what's the difference between supper and dinner?"

"When we dine out, it's dinner," said the father. "When we take our night meal

at home, it's suffer."

When the mother comes, son turns to her. "Mom, what's the difference between

supper and dinner?"

"When we dine out and I choose the place, it's dinner," the mother replies. "When

dad chooses the place it's suffer."




Simple words


What do I get from writing on the web log? Plain pleasure. When I see my

thoughts jump into print, I feel satiated, the pleasure in my blood gets high.

As I said in my previous blog, there are over a million words in the English

dictionary. I pick only a few of them, simple words like hoity-toity, ad nauseam

tittle-tattle, testosterone, chutzpah, etc.


Adopted from Blagmell, the blogsite of my friend Mel Amarillo.


Please visit my other blogs Salt of Life at http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com,
Viajero http://www.viajero-funtravel.blogspot.com
and Miscellaneous http://www.miscellaneous-oddnews.blogspot.com

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Three sets of jokes

One-liners

1. Your president is always ready to lay down your life for your country.

2. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

3. A boss with no humor is like a boring job.


Student-teacher jokes

Joke 1.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: I'm sorry ma'am, I did not know that my watch is late.

Teacher: Now set it in advance.

The student did so and then went out.

Teacher: Why are you going out?

Student: It's still early ma'am.

Jone 2. (For Filipinos)

Teacher to a new student: What's your name?

Student: Early Seven Strikes Land, ma'am.

Teacher: What kind of a name is that? Is that really your name?

Student: Yes ma'am, it's the English version of my name.

Teacher: And what is the Filipino version?

Student: Agapito Hampaslupa.



Please read my other blogs Salt of Life at http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com and Viajero at http://www.viajero-funtravel.blogspot.com

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

No problem

This story has been circulating here in Jeddah as a joke, although people who knew the Filipino character in this story say it was an actual case. Joke or not, this could start your day with a smile. Here's the story.


A Filipino went to a dentist to have his aching tooth pulled. The dentist, an Indian, told him to come back the following day after giving him medicine to make the swelling subside.

The following day the dentist pull one of his molars. The following day the Filipino discovered that the dentist extracted a wrong tooth.

"Doctor, you pulled out the wrong molar yesterday," he complained.

"No problem," the dentist said reassuringly.

"We will extract the right molar this time."


Thanks to Danny Lequin for sharing this story.


Please visit my other blog Salt of Life at http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com.

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Friday, August 26, 2011

A little too real

This is not a joke but start your day with a smile.


New Zealand school skeleton turns out to be real

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) — An anatomy lesson nearly got a little too authentic in New Zealand when an elementary school teacher found that the skeleton she was about to show her class wasn't plastic. It was a real human skeleton.
The local Northern Advocate newspaper says school principal Bastienne Kruger stopped the lesson, called in the police and handed over the boxed skeleton. Officials are scratching their heads over what to do next.
Experts from the Historic Places Trust believe the bones were professionally preserved a century ago or more when skeleton trading was common.
The bones appear to be from a small man who lived in India or China. Nobody knows how long the skeleton has been at the Totara North elementary school, which opened in 1852 on New Zealand's North Island.

This happened last month.

Please visit my other blog Salt of Life hyperlink http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com

If any of the ads below does not open when you click it, it means the promotion is not available in your area. Except for traffic brokers, the ads here are available only in the US.


















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Sunday, August 21, 2011

Points to ponder

1. The road to success is always under construction.
That's the reason why we never cease to dream.

2. Telling a baby not to cry is like teaching a pig
how to sing. It's a waste of time.

3. Every wife is a "mistress" of her husband. "Missed"
for a while and "stressed" for the rest of the day.

4. Time is a great healer but a lousy beautician. I found
that out when I met a college classmate who broke my heart.

5. When my friend told her class that there was no Internet
when she was still a student, one of her students asked her,
"How did you manage to live?"
She replied: "That's the same question I asked when my
mom told me there was no shampoo and diaper in her time."



Please visit my other blog Salt of Life hyperlink http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com

If any of the ads below does not open when you click it, it means the promotion is not available in your area. Except for traffic brokers, the ads here are available only in the US.


















SimpleTuition is the smart way to choose student loans. We are dedicated to helping students and their families through the confusing education loan process by providing innovative and effective tools, resources, and most importantly, choices that help students and families make the best choice for them. This offer is available only in the United States




Saturday, August 20, 2011

The bridge

A priest was assigned to a small town.

When he took the confession of the residents one Saturday afternoon, he noticed that many made very long confessions about their having committed adultery because they were ashamed to go directly to the point.

To make their confessions on elicit affairs short, he advised them to just use a code - "I fell from the bridge". Soon that code became institutionalized.

Five years later, the priest was replaced by another prelate whom he forgot to brief about the code.

On his first Saturday, the new priest received confessions from the residents and was surprised to hear some of them telling him about falling from a bridge.

Thinking that the residents were complaining about an unrepaired bridge, he went to see the town mayor about it.

The mayor laughed when he heard the prelate's concern and decided to pull a joke on the man of piety.

"When you hear such a complaint again, father," the mayor said. "please tell them that I am still raising funds for the repair of the bridge."

The priest assured him that he would do as he was told. When the priest was about to leave, he suddenly remembered.

"Mayor, be sure to raise the fund at once," the priest entreated the town official.

"Why the sudden rush, father?" the mayor asked with a wide grin.

"It's for the sake of your wife," said the priest.

"I remember that she told me at the confessional last Saturday that she also fell from that bridge."



Please visit my other blog Salt of Life hyperlink http://www.salt-romblonwriter.blogspot.com

If any of the ads below does not open when you click it, it means the promotion is not available in your area. Except for traffic brokers, the ads here are available only in the US.


















SimpleTuition is the smart way to choose student loans. We are dedicated to helping students and their families through the confusing education loan process by providing innovative and effective tools, resources, and most importantly, choices that help students and families make the best choice for them. This offer is available only in the United States